“I can understand German as well as the maniac that invented it, but I talk it best through an interpreter.”Īnd yet many of the same people who poke fun at the consonant-filled mania of the German language also marvel at the German compound word as they learn German. Twain reckoned the language must have been invented by a maniac:
According to Moran, it sounds like typewriters eating tin foil being kicked down the stairs. Ladies and gentlemen, the German language.Everyone from Mark Twain to Dylan Moran has launched into tirades on the German language. But then, what’s the proper German way of saying it, you may ask? Well, the German word for ‘team’, dear readers, is Mannschaft. That’s one of the many anglicisms that the Germans have taken from us.
And last but not least, in true football-style with the football on at the moment, the Germans can say the word Team for ‘team’.Thankfully, the first half isn’t pronounced as an English person may read it (the Germans like saying all the letters, so it’s more of a “K-noh-b-…” but reading it still makes me laugh, even today. I then learnt the word for ‘garlic’ – Knoblauch. Apfel is apple, Ei is egg, Brot is bread. When we learnt food words at school, all was going well.There’s the German word fett which is used in the same way, but did you know that another way to say ‘fat’ is by saying the word dick? Yes, it’s spelt that way. Calling somebody fat may well be seen as an insult.The best bit is that it is used to make so many other words: Ausfahrt (exit), Einfahrt (entrance), Schifffahrt (journey on a ship – yes, with three f’s)… the fun is endless! Pronounced exactly like the f-word for ‘trump’ in English, Fahrt is a wonderful word and one of the ones I still laugh at every now and then. Word number 3 is a good one and one you may know: Fahrt.But, that word is used so often, I think I’ve been numbed by it and don’t hear the naughty word anymore. Pop that in the ihr form (2nd person plural, informal) and you get the word könnt, which is pronounced like… uh… you might be able to guess (the ö s0unds like the sound you make when making a decision: “uhh”). Exhibit number 2: In German, the word ‘to be able to/can’ is können.Pronounced just like the word ‘douche’, but with an ‘-eh’ at the end.
Sometimes, 13 years later, those words still get me. When I started learning German back in 2003, I came across some words that, as the 11-year-old that I was, I couldn’t help laugh at.
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